Monthly Archive for: ‘June, 2014’

  • Anger Can Cloud Your Judgment


    This week has really opened my eyes to how detrimental anger can be to your overall being. I have a friend who really wanted a job she applied for because she was dissatisfied with her working environment and pay. She aced the phone interview and was really excited. I went over to her apartment to celebrate with her and to wish her the best of luck with her in-person interview the next day.

    The next day, this young lady texted me basically saying that she felt she had failed miserably during the in-person interview, and she was sure that because she answered a couple questions wrong that she did not get the job. She told me she felt really sad and low.

    I went to her apartment that night to cheer her up. I found her in an intoxicated state and she started to trash her apartment in a fit of anger and rage. I did my best console her and assure her that she might still get the job and that she should not take it so hard. However, she was adamant about the fact that she had not gotten the job and that everyone seems to reject her, she is not good enough, et-cetera.

    The poor young woman even became suicidal as thoughts reeled in her head about the bleakness of her future. The next day at her current job, she even quit after being accused of applying for other jobs, and also for being on drugs, since she seemed out-of-touch. She was digging herself into an even deeper hole.

    However, the next day after she quit her current job, she got news that she actually got the job that she applied for and wanted so very badly. I joked with her that she had been worrying about nothing. She agreed. But why would this young lady torture herself so much just because of an interview that she thought she did horribly in?

    My thoughts are that she used a great deal of thinking process errors. For instance, she assumed that the hiring manager did not like her because a couple of her answers were not the best. Because she did not have enough confidence and self-love, she seemed to self-prophesize that she would not get the job and that because of that she was worthless and should just give up on life. In other words, she was being far too hard on herself and not looking on the positive side of things.

    She seems okay now and is happy to be starting her job on Monday. I hope that she learned that in the future not to let her anger cause her to make poor decisions. She is truly a great gal and I wish her the best.

    However, this week I was not spared from a situation that stirred up anger. Since late April, I have been trying to get my car tabs. In order to do so, I have to pass the emissions test. Well, for some reason the computer in my car that runs all the emissions diagnostics is not storing the data it needs in order to pass the emissions test. This has been extremely frustrating.

    When I did not pass the first time, I asked the tester what I could do to fix it, and he simply stated “Just drive it around more and come back.”

    I took the car to my mechanic a he reset my internal computer and told me to drive it around and then take it back to be tested.

    I did just that. However, this time I did not pass and was told to go to the main office and talk to the manager. I took both my failed testing papers in the office and the manager just looked at me strangely.

    “What’s this? I need the paperwork from your mechanic!”

    He then said some other things that I did not understand, since I was just told to go to the main office and not what I would have to show him. I was livid to say the least. I felt like I was being yelled at for doing absolutely nothing wrong.

    So I went back to my mechanic and he stated that he is authorized to give me a waiver. He told me that all I have to do is show the people at the emissions the failed test paper he signed and that I should be good. Well, he was wrong.

    I go back to emissions and show one of the managers there my two failed tests and the signature of my mechanic.

    “Where’s the work order? I need a work order.”
    I was so confused at this point and extremely angry that the manager got very defensive and started yelling in at me.

    I told him what I was told by my mechanic, and he said I needed to read the packet that I was given when I failed the emissions test. I told him that I never got a packet and asked him if I could have one. He said he highly doubted that I was not given an info packet, refused to give me one and then glared at me and walked back to his desk in a different room. I was so full of rage, but then I began to breathe deeply from my belly and tell myself to accept the situation. Before practicing Yi Ren Qigong, I feel that I would have seriously raged and gotten out of hand. I would have asked to speak to his superior because he was rude and that they did not communicate very well with me. But what was the point?

    I then thought that maybe my mechanic spoke to someone from a particular emissions testing facility and did not tell me. I began to weigh the costs and benefits of losing my temper, and decided that the costs far out-weighed the benefits. I mean, in actuality, there is a protocol that states that if you do not pass the emissions due to your computer not being ready, that you have to spend at least $150 to try to repair the issue. My mechanic did not tell me about this, and on my initial visit to the manager’s office at the emissions testing facility, I was not given the instructions packet about what to do.

    Bottom line, there was a great deal of miscommunication and guess what, NONE of it was my fault. Initially I felt stupid and embarrassed about being yelled out of the emissions testing office twice. However, I was just doing what I was told to do. It was not my fault that my car’s computer system was not properly storing data. It was not my fault that the employee from the emissions testing facility did not give me the proper packet so that I knew exactly what I had to do to rectify the issue. It is not my fault that my mechanic can be a horrible communicator (albeit an incredible mechanic) and that he gave me wrong information. It simply was not my fault. So I had every right to be extremely angry, but again, what would that accomplish? Nothing. It would have clouded my thinking and I would have made the situation far worse. By humbly walking out of that office and then leaving a voice message for my mechanic explaining the situation, all while remaining calm, I am certain that my car tab issue will be resolved smoothly with little more complication. I did not let my anger control me and I am very proud of myself for this.

    So fellow Peaceful Warriors, let this be a lesson to us all that remaining calm in agitating situations is far wiser than losing one’s head. I hope you all have excellent weeks and Be Well!

  • Don’t fear the doldrums


    I am stuck. I feel like I am not going anywhere. But where am I trying to go? I have a faint idea of what my goals are, however, right now they seem unattainable. I feel like I am in a transition in which I am saying goodbye to my old life and my old self and waiting for my new self to arrive.

    However, I am not frustrated, anymore. During a meditation, I received information to trust the process of my evolution. Some of the things in my head seem very illogical and it feels like I am tormenting myself. However, one of the benefits of Yi Ren Qigong is that is gives you the courage to look at yourself in the mirror and the power to change the things you do not like—albeit the process, at times, can be a bit uncomfortable.

    I liken it to this, I am sure many of us have felt so down an tired, chaotic on the inside, that we cannot look at ourselves in the mirror, for fear of what our faces, with their alarmed eyes, might reveal. However, when I look at the mirror during times of crisis, I make it a point to change what I do not like. I smile at myself and remember I must love myself in order for anyone else to love me.

    All around me, there seems to be chaos. People are coming into my life that are incredibly unbalanced and unhappy. They seem to be attracted to me, like they are seeking others to be miserable with them. The old me might have obliged, the new me has learned to cut these people off. This is not because I feel that I am better than they are, but because I have learned that some people have chosen—yes chosen—a life of misery. It is true that some of us are more prone to despair, but all of us have the wherewithal to turn our lives around by leading a healthy lifestyle.

    An excerpt from Verse 15 of the Tao Te Ching reads. (to paraphrase)

    The sage is…as chaotic as a muddy torrent.
    Why “chaotic as a muddy torrent?”
    Because clarity is learned by being
    Patient in the presence of chaos.
    Tolerating disarray, remaining at rest,
    Gradually one learns to allow muddy
    Water to settle and proper responses to reveal themselves…

    If there are any of you out there that feel stuck as well, you are definitely not alone. My advice for you is to sit there and be stuck. This is not a time of despair—although it may seem like you will never be free again, you will. This is a time of excitement and a time to rejoice. Your eyes will soon see the world from higher ground and you will then be able to effortlessly look at yourself in the mirror and smile and look within and see how all of your effort paid off.

    This is your Patient Warrior urging you to all be well and keep your faith, even through seemingly chaotic times.